We're gonna start it like this now, I'm sorry... just not posting a blog. Ugh, I had such an ego this past month. Now, I feel like schitt... I don't know what to feel or even what to do. I just read a few blog post from some of my friends and I felt like poop. How easy was that. Right now, I feel so frustrated even though I just finished school and I'm free. But sometimes being free doesn't feel like freedom. I don't celebrate it. I just sit at home, doing nothing. I got no inspiration from the past month. Nothing made me really happy. ME being with my friends was one of the memories that i will never forget. But other people that i care about are going away. I can't believe it. All this time that I didn't appreciate their presence and all the time that I was to nervous or shy to talk was just wasted. This is why I'm useless and awful.
okay, i wrote this blog more than 5 times, but just didn't have the guts to post them. So, i will be more cheerful later. I don't have the mood to post something cheerful or something depressing. I'm sorry guys. Hope you have a wonderful day. -Violane
Saturday 21 November 2015
Sunday 4 October 2015
I USED TO HATE MYSELF?
Hey! So this is a blog about a typical girl who obviously has feelings and emotions just like any other person.
Have you felt like you wanna cry, but you know thats just pathetic so you just picture yourself standing you are falling to you knees then just bursting into tears, putting your hand at your eyes just to hold back those tears but you just cant cause its never going to end? ( that was a long question )... Well, I usually do that when I'm frustrated and when I know that I messed up my life in a split of a second and that my whole world is going to collapse on me by my choice. Sometimes you just hate yourself with what you have done and it could never be erase and that you're going to live a life by the streets.
As you would know, I just finished a big test that puts you into a good school or moderate one ( basically like college ). So when you do it you get nervous and everything you have been learning for 6 years just went out from your brain to an abyss. Yeah, then when you're done, a few weeks after that you thinks about that day and you realised that you have f-ed up your life and that you are never going to be successful. Everyone is going to look at you differently now. I'm not a big fan of quotes like "Never give up" or "Practice makes perfect". I find it cliche, but sometimes it is true. You just can never give up. Even if you feel like you wanna die and think that your existence is worthless. You are always worthy.
Back to the first question, in your mind you're visualising you're position and how much tears are pouring from your eyes. You try to stop it, you wanna stop but you cant because it feels right to cry. But still you never cry in real life. You made it a point that weak people are the only ones who cry. When you visualise your cry, your heart starts to drop or even trying to escape this hell you're in. Your brain is tired of being strong. Sometimes being weak is the only way to be a real human. You're over-thinking again, but you want to overthink because if you stop now your heart and mind will go back to cry mode cause you wanna cry. Your heart is hurt but your mind is getting tortured? what the hell, this is like being the friend (brain) who is always vulnerable to the other, who is an emotional rollercoaster. But you cant give up on each other because they are the only one who is there to help you and hurt you. You can never get the perfect package filled with happiness and love, because when there is love, there is hate. When there is happiness, there is pain. You just have to get thru it your way.
I know that this may be a REALLY LONG blog. But I just need get that off my chest. So, I said more cheerful blog this time around but I got nothing cheery and happy to tell you. Either way, hope you enjoyed this blog!! Love, Violane...
Have you felt like you wanna cry, but you know thats just pathetic so you just picture yourself standing you are falling to you knees then just bursting into tears, putting your hand at your eyes just to hold back those tears but you just cant cause its never going to end? ( that was a long question )... Well, I usually do that when I'm frustrated and when I know that I messed up my life in a split of a second and that my whole world is going to collapse on me by my choice. Sometimes you just hate yourself with what you have done and it could never be erase and that you're going to live a life by the streets.
As you would know, I just finished a big test that puts you into a good school or moderate one ( basically like college ). So when you do it you get nervous and everything you have been learning for 6 years just went out from your brain to an abyss. Yeah, then when you're done, a few weeks after that you thinks about that day and you realised that you have f-ed up your life and that you are never going to be successful. Everyone is going to look at you differently now. I'm not a big fan of quotes like "Never give up" or "Practice makes perfect". I find it cliche, but sometimes it is true. You just can never give up. Even if you feel like you wanna die and think that your existence is worthless. You are always worthy.
Back to the first question, in your mind you're visualising you're position and how much tears are pouring from your eyes. You try to stop it, you wanna stop but you cant because it feels right to cry. But still you never cry in real life. You made it a point that weak people are the only ones who cry. When you visualise your cry, your heart starts to drop or even trying to escape this hell you're in. Your brain is tired of being strong. Sometimes being weak is the only way to be a real human. You're over-thinking again, but you want to overthink because if you stop now your heart and mind will go back to cry mode cause you wanna cry. Your heart is hurt but your mind is getting tortured? what the hell, this is like being the friend (brain) who is always vulnerable to the other, who is an emotional rollercoaster. But you cant give up on each other because they are the only one who is there to help you and hurt you. You can never get the perfect package filled with happiness and love, because when there is love, there is hate. When there is happiness, there is pain. You just have to get thru it your way.
I know that this may be a REALLY LONG blog. But I just need get that off my chest. So, I said more cheerful blog this time around but I got nothing cheery and happy to tell you. Either way, hope you enjoyed this blog!! Love, Violane...
Wednesday 30 September 2015
MY EX-BEST FRIENDS (PART 3)
Hey guys, sorry didn't post anything for a LONG while... I guess I was busy with doing NOTHING.... I'm supper duper sorry... mostly to my friends, I knew they wanted this posted a while ago...
CONTINUED:
Kim pulled me off the bench and started talking to me like nothing happened over the previous week (which BTW i think is BS). She talked about how her studies been going and all her personal stuff (which BTW I didn't really want to give a poop). When she finished the asked me what I did over the weekend, I simply replied "I went ice-skating with Lya an-" then she cut me off and yelled at me asking why I didn't invite her and she threw her comb to the ground (THAT IS ONE STUPID GIRL).
I explained, she was making a VERY annoying and FAKE sad face (never going to be an actress now). I was hella tired with her attitude. You know what- I dont want to talk about that girl, she can live a happy life without me and I can live my life without her. There is too much history between mw and her. I cant stand her (thats why I sit all the time). She doesnt know the meaning of friendship, thats her problem. At least you guys would be happy to know that she will be moving next year! wooo!. I'm happy. Not having her around ruining my life anymore.
You must be thinking "I'm pretty sure that she was just a depressed kid. I dont think that how you should talk to that kind of people". This is a blog about a typical girl trying to have a typical life filled with optimist people and potatoes. I dont get why she wants to do all these things to me and my friends. If you guys want to know her side of the story, ask me. I will eventually tell you some time in the future. She has made everyone shed a tear witch she was not worth it. I dont know the life of a depressed person, I bet its painful but a good friend should not blame another friend if they dont know what to do. I personally have never experience depression or anxiety. And I know this blog is pointless and stupid but people should be aware that not all depression people are innocent. There are many types of people in this small world in a short tempo but I'm just telling you my experience with a different type of person.
Hopefully somebody who knows how it feels, can help her. In other ways, I hope you enjoyed the ending, its really for anyone who wants to read and relate. I'll make a more fun and exiting blog later (hopefully sometime soon).
Also, my two best blog buddies are going thru A LOT recently so give them support on their blog
SARAH'S BLOG: http://mytella-dummy.blogspot.my/
JODIE'S BLOG; http://msnonynonymous.blogspot.my/
CONTINUED:
Kim pulled me off the bench and started talking to me like nothing happened over the previous week (which BTW i think is BS). She talked about how her studies been going and all her personal stuff (which BTW I didn't really want to give a poop). When she finished the asked me what I did over the weekend, I simply replied "I went ice-skating with Lya an-" then she cut me off and yelled at me asking why I didn't invite her and she threw her comb to the ground (THAT IS ONE STUPID GIRL).
I explained, she was making a VERY annoying and FAKE sad face (never going to be an actress now). I was hella tired with her attitude. You know what- I dont want to talk about that girl, she can live a happy life without me and I can live my life without her. There is too much history between mw and her. I cant stand her (thats why I sit all the time). She doesnt know the meaning of friendship, thats her problem. At least you guys would be happy to know that she will be moving next year! wooo!. I'm happy. Not having her around ruining my life anymore.
You must be thinking "I'm pretty sure that she was just a depressed kid. I dont think that how you should talk to that kind of people". This is a blog about a typical girl trying to have a typical life filled with optimist people and potatoes. I dont get why she wants to do all these things to me and my friends. If you guys want to know her side of the story, ask me. I will eventually tell you some time in the future. She has made everyone shed a tear witch she was not worth it. I dont know the life of a depressed person, I bet its painful but a good friend should not blame another friend if they dont know what to do. I personally have never experience depression or anxiety. And I know this blog is pointless and stupid but people should be aware that not all depression people are innocent. There are many types of people in this small world in a short tempo but I'm just telling you my experience with a different type of person.
Hopefully somebody who knows how it feels, can help her. In other ways, I hope you enjoyed the ending, its really for anyone who wants to read and relate. I'll make a more fun and exiting blog later (hopefully sometime soon).
Also, my two best blog buddies are going thru A LOT recently so give them support on their blog
SARAH'S BLOG: http://mytella-dummy.blogspot.my/
JODIE'S BLOG; http://msnonynonymous.blogspot.my/
Wednesday 16 September 2015
MY EX-BEST FRIEND (PART 2)
CONTINUED!!! My friends forced me to write the continuation of this story. So here it is my friends! Hope you enjoy the story!!!
We (me, Erin and Kim) spent most of our time training, practicing our lines and hanging out together, without Sarah. I guess Kim wasn't really happy with Sarah and said she was like, sappy, desperate and more nonsense ( Sorry, Sarah if you're reading this). Also I'm that person that just make a derp face when she rants because I have preference. Well... Kim got annoyed with that and always yell at me if I do that, so thats already first strike for her...
After Netball matches ended and we continued our studies, me, Erin and Kim were still like a team but a few weeks after that we had to change classes from like the smartest to the dumbest. I got the second smartest class while Sarah, Erin, Chloe and Jodie got the first class. Kim got like the fifth class, so I hung out with Kim because I didn't feel like I fit in their group so I spent time with her more. We fought a lot for some reason but after our arguments we became friends again. She always guilt trip me into being friends with her...
Then when she was like ignoring me (idk why...) Stacy ( one of my best friends ) ask me to recess with her. When I recess with her I had to sit next to Erin, Sarah, Chloe and Jodie, and we chat and we reunited!!! I was so glad, Kim always makes me feel horrible and stresses me. The same day, Kim messaged me and virtually scold me. I got pissed and then she said she said thing like "I know I'm stupid and go hang out with them leave me alone!". Then I'll be like "why do you think like that ?". Then she just become this pessimistic piece of depressed ball. I just couldn't handle her anymore, I told her I didn't want to hang out with he anymore. She didn't take it that well, she said like "yeah, when i die later, I bet you're not gonna come to my funeral." and something like " Now you don't have to worry about this troubled weird kid, who's making your life worse."
I talked to my friends about it, Sarah, Erin, Chloe and Jodie already didn't like Kim, but I went with Stacys' advice. She asked my reason with her. She didn't want to talk, I left her. DONE! I WAS DONE WITH THAT BERCH! Then after a week, at recess she came up to me with a huge smile on her face and said "I can't believe we're not friends for like a week!". I was beyond confused... I didn't want to be mean. I sat down and replied "yeah... " awkwardly . She lightly hit me on the shoulder, and asked me to go to walk with her, at the moment, I was waiting for Stacy to buy her food. I said "I'm waiting for Stacy by the way...". She made a pissed of face (I felt like I wanted to slap her!). Stacy saw me sitting on the bench, Kim looking at me pissingly, she went to me standing a little behind Kim, she quickly look at her and automatically knew what the situation was. She slowly said "um, dude, I have a... something to do, alone... see ya?" I nod and she went away. Kim pulled me of my seat and we started to talk...
TO BE CONTINUED...
Tell what you think about it... I really would like to say something, but I just dunno how... Sorry for late post and really long blog... Hope you enjoyed this story. Lates!! <33
Sunday 13 September 2015
TMI TAG
I'm doing a TMI TAG!!! Soooo excite! LETS GET STARTED! Hope you enjoy!
1. what are you wearing? An XL Paul McCartney : The New World Tour T-shirt and Uniqlo shorts
2. have you ever been in love? No. ( THAT. IS . DISGUSTING)... Well... maybe with food? lol
3. have you ever had a terrible break up? NO...
4. how tall are you? 151cm or 5 foot tall... yass I'm da tallest out of mah friends!
5. how much do you weigh? HEAVY!
6. any tattoos? nope...
7. any piercings? I used to have one on each of my ears but it bled and I took it of... ;D
8. otp? TRONNOR , ZALFIE , PERCABETH, KATNISS x PEETA, FOURTRIS ughh... (so much more that I'll make a blog about them! squeeee!)
9. what is your favourite show? Orphan Black, Sense 8, Brooklyn 99, Big Bang Theory, Flash ( I'll do the same to this with no.8)
10. who are your favourite bands? Linkin Park, One Republic, Fall out Boy, Green Day ( I'll do the same to this with no.8)
11. something you miss? swimming...
12. favourite song? Lots.. you don't even wanna know... ( I'll do the same to this with no.8 muahahha)
13. how old are you? Guess from my ex-best friend blog! muahahha
14. zodiac sign? Capricorn
15. quality you look for in a partner? Humour and honest
16. what is your favourite quote? If you don't have ups and downs in your life, that means you're dead.
17. who is your favourite actor? Jennifer Lawrence, Shailene Woodly, Josh Hutcherson and more(I'll do the same to this with no.8)
18. favourite color? Turquoise, Ocean Blue, Black, White and Gold
19. loud music or soft? BOTH!
20. where do you go when you’re sad? My bed
21. how long does it take you to shower? min: 5 minutes, max: 40!
22. how long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 10 - 20 minutes
23. have you ever been in a physical fight? yes... definitely
24. turn on’s? people who has a sense of humour
25. turn off’s? When people say they love something even though they only know so little...
26. the reason I joined blogger? Read my blog THE START..
27. what are your fears? Clowns and God...
28. last thing that made you cry? My brother deleting all my pictures in Japan on my camera... still makes me cry.
29. last time you said you loved someone? An hour ago to my mom! <3
30. meaning behind your youtube name? nothing, I just winged it!
31. last book you read? Paper Towns and Heroes of Olympus : The Blood Of Olympus.
32. the book you’re currently reading? no. 32
33. last show you watched? War in Colour
34. last person you talked to? My two best friends... ( I'm skyping with them right now )
35. the relationship between you and the last person you texted? Classmates
36. what is your favourite food? Anything Italian
37. place you want to visit? Australia and Greece
38. last place you were? Home... duh..
39. do you have a crush? maybe~
40. last time you kissed someone? today... my mom
41. last time you were insulted? just know while I'm skyping with them
42. favourite flavour of sweet? chocolate
43. what instruments do you play? piano and guitar
44. favourite piece of jewellery? My Hunger Games necklace
45. last sport you played? Netball, Track, Long Jump and Badminton
46. last song you sang? Wild by Troye Sivan... loveeee!
47. favourite pick up line? none...
48. have you ever used it? nope...
49. last time you hung out with anyone? today... my mom?
50. who should answer these questions next? You ( the person reading this !!! )
Okay thats it!!! Hope you enjoy! Lates!! <33
Saturday 12 September 2015
MY EX-BEST FRIEND (PART 1)
This is a story about my ex-best friend. She broke my heart and made me cry like a week?... I hope you enjoy!
Lets call this childhood friend of mine, Kim. I met this Kim when I was about 5. It was sports day and at the time I was a really friendly kid, I was eating ice-scream and my hands were sticky and covered in melted ice-scream and saliva. I turned I say this girl and touched her face (I KNOW!!! DISGUSTING!!!). AND THUS, A FRIENDSHIP WAS BORN!
We became best friends until we turned Grade 1 and I never saw her again. Grade 1, I only thought about new school, new friends and new me. So, I tried to forget about Kim. I made lots of friends (some of them lasted till now). I was great friends with this girl we're gonna call, Chloe. One day at recess, I decided to stay in class and read. After reading, I went to stand next to the corridor to look around and observe then Chloe and Kim passed by me. What pissed me off if that Kim sticked her tongue out at me but I didn't really mind Chloe hanging out with her.
Then we became, friends and JUST FRIENDS throughout the next 4 year. What I learned about her over the years is that, she suffers depression and anxiety ( thats what she says ), she very bossy and most of my close friends didn't really like her that much. And now it came down to this year 2K 15, me, Erin and Sarah ( some of my lasting best friends) entered netball. Apparently Kim entered last year so she's automatically in "THE TEAM". Then we trained together, but Sarah kept her distance with her cause she has some bad old history or something (she has a blog, maybe she'll post about Kim, mytella-dummy.blogspot.com). But sadly Sarah didn't put up enough... so the couch kicked her out.
Me, Erin and Kim became closer because we shared sweat and tears in our netball matches. We thought out friendship would last longer -forever-.... ( oh, were we wrong). Then I entered Choral Speaking with Erin, Sarah, Kim and Jodie. This was like the only time me and Erin could talk to Sarah because of all our training. But mostly every time we wanna talk to her Kim would always find a way to bring us back to her. We made a huge mistake leaving Sarah, Alone.
TO BE CONTINUED...
HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE STORY! MORE PARTS WILL BE COMING SOON! TELL ME ABOUT YOUR STORIES TOO, LOVE TO HEAR YOUR STORIES. LOVE YOU GUYS, LATES!! <33
READ JODIE'S FLAWLESS BLOGS : http://msnonynonymous.blogspot.my
READ SARAH'S AWESOME BLOGS : mytella-dummy.blogspot.com
THE START
Okay... starting this blog the old fashion way... My name's Younis. I started this blog because of boredom and I really wanted to express my feelings and emotions on a blog... I just finished a huge exam and I have lots of free time to write about "MY TYPICAL LIFE". Why I call my life "TYPICAL"? Because I like the most normal and ordinary person my friends and family know.
FYI: I am literally skyping with my two best friends and their typing hella loud. So I decided to be productive and write a blog. yessssss. I'm like to read fiction and ughh... yeah thats it. hehehhe... I'm mostly sarcastic, geeky and witty. Okay dont really wanna bore you guys and just wanna get to the blog! woohoo!
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