Hey! So this is a blog about a typical girl who obviously has feelings and emotions just like any other person.
Have you felt like you wanna cry, but you know thats just pathetic so you just picture yourself standing you are falling to you knees then just bursting into tears, putting your hand at your eyes just to hold back those tears but you just cant cause its never going to end? ( that was a long question )... Well, I usually do that when I'm frustrated and when I know that I messed up my life in a split of a second and that my whole world is going to collapse on me by my choice. Sometimes you just hate yourself with what you have done and it could never be erase and that you're going to live a life by the streets.
As you would know, I just finished a big test that puts you into a good school or moderate one ( basically like college ). So when you do it you get nervous and everything you have been learning for 6 years just went out from your brain to an abyss. Yeah, then when you're done, a few weeks after that you thinks about that day and you realised that you have f-ed up your life and that you are never going to be successful. Everyone is going to look at you differently now. I'm not a big fan of quotes like "Never give up" or "Practice makes perfect". I find it cliche, but sometimes it is true. You just can never give up. Even if you feel like you wanna die and think that your existence is worthless. You are always worthy.
Back to the first question, in your mind you're visualising you're position and how much tears are pouring from your eyes. You try to stop it, you wanna stop but you cant because it feels right to cry. But still you never cry in real life. You made it a point that weak people are the only ones who cry. When you visualise your cry, your heart starts to drop or even trying to escape this hell you're in. Your brain is tired of being strong. Sometimes being weak is the only way to be a real human. You're over-thinking again, but you want to overthink because if you stop now your heart and mind will go back to cry mode cause you wanna cry. Your heart is hurt but your mind is getting tortured? what the hell, this is like being the friend (brain) who is always vulnerable to the other, who is an emotional rollercoaster. But you cant give up on each other because they are the only one who is there to help you and hurt you. You can never get the perfect package filled with happiness and love, because when there is love, there is hate. When there is happiness, there is pain. You just have to get thru it your way.
I know that this may be a REALLY LONG blog. But I just need get that off my chest. So, I said more cheerful blog this time around but I got nothing cheery and happy to tell you. Either way, hope you enjoyed this blog!! Love, Violane...
